Stop Saving the Good Stuff: Use the Good Soap, Burn the Good Candle, and Enjoy Your Life Now

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There is probably something in your house right now that you have decided is too good for your actual life.

Go ahead. Think about it.

Maybe it’s the expensive candle you occasionally remove the lid from, sniff twice, and put right back on the shelf.

Maybe it’s the soap that smells so good you’ve somehow decided its highest purpose is sitting untouched beside the sink.

Maybe it’s the pretty notebook with 184 completely blank pages because apparently none of your thoughts have been important enough for page one.

The good sheets.

The fancy glasses.

The perfume you only wear when you’re “going somewhere.”

The dress you’re saving until you lose the weight.

The body butter you’re applying in portions better suited for an archaeological artifact because you don’t want to run out.

Ma’am.

Use. The. Good. Stuff.

Somewhere along the way, many of us got very good at postponing pleasure.

We’ll use it when company comes.

We’ll wear it on vacation.

We’ll open it for our birthday.

We’ll enjoy it after we finish the project, lose the weight, clean the house, get through this busy season or finally become whatever version of ourselves we’ve decided deserves the nice things.

Except there’s one small problem.

This is the life.

Not the vacation.

Not the anniversary dinner.

Not the hypothetical Saturday when everyone behaves and the house magically looks like nobody lives there.

Tuesday.

Random, regular, reheated-leftovers Tuesday.

Your actual life is happening on the Tuesdays.

And maybe the secret to enjoying it more isn’t constantly buying more things.

Maybe it’s finally enjoying what you already decided was worth having.

The Good Stuff Rule

Here’s the rule I’m trying to follow:

If you own it, love it, and keep saving it for “someday,” today counts.

That’s it.

We’re not talking about reckless spending. This isn’t permission to blow the mortgage payment because a cashmere throw whispered your name at Target.

This is about noticing how often we reserve enjoyment for a future moment we have arbitrarily decided is more worthy than the one we’re currently living.

I’m working on this too.

So let’s start using some stuff.

1. Use the Good Soap

Yes, we’re starting here.

You bought the soap because you loved the scent. Maybe it was handmade. Maybe the packaging was beautiful. Maybe you picked it up on vacation. Maybe somebody gave it to you.

And now?

It’s sitting there.

Decorating.

Being soap-adjacent.

Friend, soap has one job.

Use it.

Put the good soap in your shower. Use it on a completely unremarkable Wednesday morning. Let your bathroom smell fantastic while you’re standing there mentally calculating how many minutes you have before your first meeting.

The experience doesn’t have to last forever to be valuable.

In fact, that’s kind of the point.

And if you’ve been saving one of our Baubles & Beeswax artisan soaps because it smells “too good to use,” consider this your official notice from the woman who made it:

I made the soap for you to USE THE SOAP.

Enjoy it.

And when it’s gone?

There will be more soap.

Funny how commerce works.

USE THE GOOD STUFF PICK: Start with a handcrafted Baubles & Beeswax artisan soap and actually put it in the shower. No decorative-soap retirement plan required.

2. Burn the Good Candle

We need to discuss candle hoarding.

And yes, this is coming from a woman who makes candles.

There are candles for decoration.

And then there are candles you’ve apparently placed into a long-term investment portfolio.

You lift the lid.

You smell it.

You say, “Oooooh.”

You put the lid back on.

No.

Light it.

Light the candle while you’re folding laundry.

Light it while you’re answering emails.

Light it while you’re reading.

Light it while you’re eating takeout directly from the container because you have already given enough today.

Scent can change the atmosphere of a room quickly. A familiar fragrance can become part of the signal that says, We’re home now. We’re slowing down.

And sometimes the vibe simply needs changing.

You don’t need company.

You don’t need a bathtub.

You don’t need jazz playing while you stare thoughtfully into the middle distance.

You can light the candle because it’s 6:17 p.m. and you’ve decided work is done.

That’s enough.

USE THE GOOD STUFF PICK: Choose the Baubles & Beeswax candle you keep smelling but refusing to burn. Then burn it. Again: this is literally what I made it for.

3. Sleep on the Good Sheets

Let’s do a little math.

If you sleep around seven hours a night, you’re spending roughly 2,500 hours a year in your bed.

And yet some of us will spend real money on an outfit we wear three times while sleeping every night on sheets that feel like administrative paperwork.

Upgrade the sheets.

You don’t necessarily need the most expensive sheets in existence. You need sheets that feel good to you.

Maybe that’s crisp cotton.

Maybe it’s silky sateen.

Maybe it’s breathable linen.

Maybe it’s something soft enough that climbing into bed makes you make that little “oooooh” sound.

That’s the goal.

The good sheets aren’t for guests.

Guests can sleep on the regular sheets.

You live here.

USE THE GOOD STUFF PICK: The California Design Den 600-thread-count 100% cotton sateen sheet set is exactly the kind of practical luxury I’m talking about: something you’ll actually use constantly that makes an ordinary part of your day feel better.

4. Retire the Towel That Has Given Everything It Has to Give

You know the towel.

It’s thin.

It’s slightly crunchy.

Nobody remembers what color it originally was.

It may have accompanied you through multiple homes, relationships, hairstyles and presidential administrations.

We thank it for its service.

And we release it.

There is something wildly satisfying about stepping out of the shower and wrapping yourself in a big, soft towel.

Again: we’re not rebuilding the Taj Mahal.

We’re buying a towel.

But these tiny upgrades matter because we interact with them constantly.

A great towel isn’t a once-a-year luxury.

It’s a Tuesday luxury.

And Tuesday luxuries are exactly what we’re after.

USE THE GOOD STUFF PICK: If your current bath towel could qualify for Social Security, this Utopia Towels four-pack of 600 GSM cotton bath towels is a very reasonable intervention.

Buy them.

Use them.

Wash them.

Repeat.

Revolutionary stuff.

5. Wear the Good Pajamas

Explain something to me.

Why does the outside world get our cute clothes while we give ourselves the T-shirt from a 2007 charity 5K?

You know the one.

The lettering is cracked.

There’s a mysterious hole near the hem.

You haven’t run a 5K since Obama was president.

Yet somehow this shirt has achieved tenure.

I’m not saying throw away every oversized T-shirt. Some of those shirts have earned their position.

But you deserve pajamas that feel good against your skin.

Soft.

Breathable.

Comfortable.

Maybe even cute.

Not because anybody else is seeing you in them.

Because you are.

USE THE GOOD STUFF PICK: This Netsmile two-piece soft lounge and pajama set is comfortable, easy and—this is important—has pockets.

Because apparently, we’ve suffered enough.

This entire article is really about that distinction.

We tend to understand making things nice for other people.

I’m learning to make things nice for the person who’s still there when everybody else leaves.

Me.

Maybe you are too.

6. Drink Out of the Pretty Glass

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but the fancy glasses do not require alcohol.

Put water in them.

Put juice in them.

Put iced tea in them.

Put your electrolyte powder in them and pretend you’re at a resort instead of trying to recover from forgetting to drink water for six consecutive hours.

There is something delightful about turning an ordinary action into a tiny experience.

That’s what everyday luxury actually is.

It isn’t necessarily expensive.

It’s intentional.

USE THE GOOD STUFF PICK: These vintage-inspired embossed floral drinking glasses are exactly what I mean. They’re pretty enough to feel special, but we’re putting water in them on Tuesday.

That’s the assignment.

And if one eventually breaks?

We’ll mourn briefly and continue living.

7. Stop Rationing the Good Body Butter

This one makes me laugh because I know we do it.

You get a body butter you absolutely love.

And instead of enjoying it, you immediately begin trying to make it last until the next presidential election.

Tiny dab.

Tiny dab.

Tiny dab.

Meanwhile your elbow is asking whether we’re experiencing supply-chain issues.

Use the body butter.

Take the extra 60 seconds after your shower.

Massage it into your skin.

Notice how it smells.

Notice how your skin feels.

Let taking care of your body be something other than maintenance.

And here’s one I’m still learning:

Your body doesn’t have to become something different before you start treating it well.

Not twenty pounds from now.

Not vacation from now.

Not “when I get myself together.”

Now.

USE THE GOOD STUFF PICK: Get out the Baubles & Beeswax whipped body butter you’ve been rationing and use enough to actually moisturize your skin.

There will be more body butter.

I know a lady.

8. Open the Pretty Notebook

Oh, the notebook people.

I see you because I am you.

We buy beautiful notebooks and then immediately decide they’re too beautiful for our handwriting.

Page one becomes an impossible decision.

What deserves to go there?

A life-changing revelation?

A business idea worth millions?

The opening line of the novel we’re apparently going to write?

Meanwhile the notebook sits untouched for two years.

Write something.

Write:

I bought this notebook and have been scared to write in it, which is ridiculous.

Congratulations.

Page one is handled.

USE THE GOOD STUFF PICK: This CAGIE A5 leather hardcover journal is pretty enough to feel special.

Your first entry is still allowed to be, “I have no idea what to write.”

We are breaking the seal, people.

And if you’re in a season where you’re asking bigger questions about who you are outside all the roles you play for everyone else, grab our free Rediscovering the Woman Behind the Roles self-discovery journal.

Use that beautiful notebook to answer the prompts.

Pretty pages are nice.

Using them to hear yourself again is better.

9. Wear the Good Perfume — Even to Bed

This one is personal.

I used to think of good perfume the way a lot of us do.

You put it on when you’re going somewhere.

Dinner.

An event.

Date night.

Work.

Somewhere other humans will encounter you and presumably appreciate that you smell fantastic.

And then I thought:

Why do other people get all my good perfume?

So now sometimes I spray my good perfume before I go to bed.

Not bathe in it.

One spritz.

Just enough to set the tone for sleep.

Why?

Because I want to smell good all the time.

And frankly, I am awesome even when I sleep.

There’s something about catching that little trace of a fragrance I love while I’m settling into bed that feels indulgent in the best possible way.

Nobody else has to smell it.

Nobody else has to compliment it.

Nobody else even has to know.

That’s the point.

I’m learning that I don’t have to perform my enjoyment for an audience.

Neither do you.

Wear the perfume.

Wear it to dinner.

Wear it to the office.

Wear it while working from home.

Wear it to bed.

You bought it because you liked the way it smelled.

Remember her?

She’s the customer we’re trying to please.

USE THE GOOD STUFF PICK: If you’re joining me on Team Wear the Good Perfume for Absolutely No Reason, this refillable glass perfume atomizer lets you keep some of your favorite fragrance on your nightstand, vanity or in your travel bag.

One spritz.

Nobody else needs to smell it.

That’s the point.

10. Make Your Bedroom Feel Good for You

We spend so much time preparing our homes for other people.

We fluff pillows when people visit.

We light candles before company arrives.

We spray the room.

We clean the guest bathroom like its awaiting inspection from the Department of Homeland Security.

But what happens after everyone leaves?

Make your bedroom smell amazing for you.

Spritz the linen spray.

Turn down the bed.

Dim the lights.

Put the phone down.

Light the candle for a while before bedtime.

Make your room feel like somewhere you want to retreat to rather than the place where you collapse after giving everything you had to everybody else.

A Baubles & Beeswax room and linen spray is one of my favorite ridiculously easy ways to change the feel of a room.

Because I don’t know about you, but any nighttime ritual requiring a project manager and a laminated checklist has already lost me.

A few intentional cues are enough.

Good sheets.

Soft pajamas.

A scent you love.

Maybe a candle while you wind down.

Your good perfume.

That’s a ritual.

This Isn’t Really About Buying Better Stuff

Here’s where I want to be careful.

Because the answer to feeling disconnected from your life is not:

Go buy ten things from Amazon.

Nope.

You may already own your good stuff.

In fact, I bet you do.

This isn’t really about consumption.

It’s about permission.

Permission to stop treating your current life like the waiting room for your real one.

Permission to stop making the nicest version of everything available exclusively to guests.

Permission to enjoy something even though enjoying it means eventually using it up.

Permission to take care of yourself even when nobody sees it.

Permission to make an ordinary day beautiful simply because you’re here for it.

That’s the shift I’m working on.

Maybe you are too.

Your Actual Life Is Happening on the Tuesdays

There will always be special occasions.

Birthdays.

Vacations.

Anniversaries.

Promotions.

Celebrations.

Big dinners.

Milestones.

And yes, enjoy the hell out of those too.

But when you add them all together, they represent a relatively small percentage of your life.

Most of life is Tuesday.

It’s making coffee.

Taking a shower.

Driving somewhere.

Working.

Coming home.

Cooking dinner.

Reading three pages before falling asleep.

Starting another load of laundry even though you are reasonably certain you just finished doing laundry.

That’s life.

And I’m realizing I don’t want to spend mine waiting for the special part to begin.

The Good Stuff Challenge

So, here’s something I’m doing, and I’m inviting you to try it too.

Tonight, walk around your house and find one thing you’ve been saving.

Not ten.

One.

Open it.

Wear it.

Light it.

Write in it.

Drink from it.

Eat off it.

Sleep on it.

Spray it.

Enjoy it.

Don’t buy something new just for this challenge.

That’s not the point.

Find something you’ve already decided was worth having and finally let yourself enjoy having it.

And when your brain says:

But I was saving that…

Tell her:

I know.

I was saving it for me.

USE THE GOOD SOAP.

Your life is the special occasion.

And from now on, we’re trying one simple rule around here:

THE GOOD STUFF RULE

If you own it, love it, and keep saving it for “someday,” today counts.

Especially Tuesday.